Visiting

When you are introduced to someone, it is expected that you will shake hands - and any greater invasion of private  space is not expected. Even with people you know, you cannot always assume that they appreciate a big bear hug when you meet. It helps to follow their lead.

Estonians will expect you to take off your shoes when visiting. When you see how dusty the streets are after a winter of laying sand, you will understand why! Street cleaners are few and far between here.

Giving Flowers: Estonians give flowers at every occasion: birthdays, visits, mother's day, weddings (yes- guests give the bride and groom flowers in the reception line either at the church after the cermony or at the reception), any occasion is suitable for giving flowers!  It is very important to UNWRAP the flowers before handing them over. It's considered impolite to give flowers wrapped in paper or cellophane.  Never give a living person an even number of flowers. Even numbers are used for those who have passed away.

When at dinner at someone else's, it is common to wait for the host to start eating before you do.

Toasting: The "style" of the toast is to lift your glass, look into the eyes (very important!) of the person you are toasting, sip the drink, then look back into their eyes and sort of nod before putting the glass down. If "clinking" glasses with several people, make sure you look into each person's eyes as your glass touches their glass. It's considered impolite to not look into the eyes of the person you are toasting.

At weddings, it is common to have a toastmaster who directs the reception (which usually includes lots of original songs for the couple copied up on sheets of paper and put to familiar tunes). The toastmaster will usually call upon members of the bridal party to give a speech, party games are also quite common.  Weddings can go on for a few days, and at least late into the night.

It is usually expected that guests take a little hostess gift (wine, box of chocolates, bouquet of flowers) for most get-togethers.

When people move into a new place, you should bring a housewarming gift the first time you are invited (called a "soola leib" salt bread).  Traditionally gifts of bread and salt are given, so that there will never be a lack of either in the new home.

New Babies: Estonians tend to not give gifts for the new baby until it actually has arrived. Most believe it is if not bad luck, then at least tempting the fates to do so beforehand.  Estonians will come to a "katsikud" (visit and bring gifts) approx 2 months after the baby is born.

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Neighbours

Like in most Nordic countries, I don't think "Know your neighbours" or "The Welcome Wagon" concept has made it to Estonia, or at least not to Tallinn. You can go a long period of time before you meet your neighbors, especially if you are living in a residential area. But even though apartment dwellers may see their neighbors on a regular basis, they can continue on a casual nod basis for a long time. Surprise them by saying "Tere" (hello) and smiling at them!

You can get to know your neighbors, though, by attending Ühistu (co-op) meetings and Talgud (work days). Once you get to know your neighbors, they can be very pleasant and helpful.

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Dress

Dress is a difficult subject since it can vary from person to person, place to place. Most people still wear suits to offices, though "business casual" is catching on. It is not uncommon to see some of your coworkers wear the same outfit two- three days in a row either. This was quite common in the Soviet times, but is less common today.

Out on the street you will notice that people tend to dress a bit less casually than in North America. No one would dare go out in sweats and without make-up unless actually going running. Estonians are quite style concious.  The young ladies also have an amazing skill of being able to walk in the old town while wearing very high heels. 

When going out, Estonians tend to dress up. This could be jeans and a nice blouse/shirt/sweater or a nice outfit. The darker the jeans, the dressier they are. Holes in jeans have never really made it as a fashion statement here except with teen agers.

People also tend to dress up to go to the Theatre and the Opera.

I usually find myself feeling "overdressed" when I go back to North America, these days.

You can ask your host/hostess what type of dress you are expected to wear (pidulik- semi-formal, , tume ülikond- dark suit, black tie,  smoking - tuxedo, frakk - white tie) For finer gatherings (especially in bad weather) it is common to wear "outdoor" shoes to the party and carry your "indoor" shoes in a bag.

For casual visits, you are expected to take off your shoes at the door. (take slippers or indoor shoes with you if you have cold feet!)

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Punctuality

Estonian generally tend to be punctual. Buses and trains are supposed to be punctual, and usually are.

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Smoking

Smoking is becoming very difficult to do in Estonia. Smoking is banned in public areas such as offices and stairwells, Pubs and Restaurants are smoke free as of June 4th 2007.

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Restaurants

Restaurants can be fairly formal affairs (no throwing popcorn or peanuts on the floor here!). There are however, a few "family style" restaurants besides McD's in Tallinn. (Pizza Americana, Atimos, Carramba to name a few)

Estonians are starting to get used to tipping.  Few restaurants include tips in the price, however if you are dining in a large group they may add the tip to the bill.  Most people tip 10-15%.

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Accepting an Invitation to an Estonian Home

Estonians usually won't invite you to their home until they feel they know you well. Jaanipäev (Midsummers eve) is an exception. Similarily they won't feel comfortable visiting someone whom they do not know. Estonians usually invite people for birthdays and anniversaries.  Estonians do not usually hold dinner parties at home, they may invite you out to dinner instead.

• It is customary to bring a small gift, usually flowers, when you visit someone's home. Other acceptable gifts are chocolate, wine, or liquor.
• Estonians  are punctual. If the invitation is for 8:00 p.m., arrive at 8:00 p.m. -- not 7:50 p.m. or 8:05 p.m.
• Most will also arrive exactly on time if you invite them to your home.
• Instead of waiting for the host to introduce you to everyone, when you first arrive, introduce yourself and shake hands with those who are already present.
• When leaving a small gathering, it is customary say good night to everyone.
• Jaanipäev (Midsummers eve - celebrated on the evening of June 23) is a day when Estonians gather with friends and family in the country. Large bonfires are lit and much food and drink is consumed.  This is one time when Estonians are very friendly and more likely to invite mere aquaintances to join them.

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composed with much help from similar texts on other women's club's pages elsewhere in the world